The Musical Campaign (lyrics included)
The Setlist - lyrics and music composed by christopher carlson
SCroll down for complete lyrics to Guber 2018
America, What Fee?/Call for Volunteers
Bear in Mind
Runtime: 45 minutes
Here is Guber, in its entirety:
I flower my sentences
Pedal through blisters
Throw rice for my sister
Score one for the listener (double)
Quinoa for dinner then rehearse
versed in script and scripture
roots chew through the ground
Found their way to my liver
Missouri Motto (me) a leader
Who’s a good example (not me)
Kids cut skin and class ‘cause fascists rig the game
Authority authority outside my DNA (Damn thank you)
Checks to the authorities who mispronounce my name
Lunches, spoiled by congress and number crunchers.
Dudes, why can’t we give these kids healthy food?
Like truth black lives to blues inconvenient
Candles for the vigilant-(awkward recognition beat)
BREAK (tone. tone.)
Tongue clicking a la drop it like it’s hot. Getting rusty Snoop
Take me to a place where they make vegan sandwiches
Fundamental breakdown of the GATES in K-6
Underage, HFCS in their braces
\\. Babies. (They tried to ban that shit in Europe)
No legs no vision less you move around
Call you out for not dressing down (You’re gonna die clown)
Chair WORK carpal tunnel WORK analysing words WORK
Something something keeps making Concentration worse
Folks afraid to work case they get hurt
And doctors cost em all they are worth
More people make more coin than ever
Still we wait in vain for the weather to bring
Water for the sick, manna for the dying
Mama please don’t make me go back to the mines
Handscuffed, feet black back the track up
Mama please don’t make me go back to the mines
Actors about town and dummies on stage
Run around and call themselves the new age and wage
War on the intellect, War with their reflections
War on every moron wanting free and fair elections
Look, (hit/crrack) the land’s polluted
Can’t breathe (hit/crack) Can’t see through it.
Ras al-Khair and Sorek beat the bay and LA to the drop
(crack) Come on Siliconia commit to it. (Get Wet California)
Takes the west a while to catch up, and bargain,
We like the rubber balls in the supermarket
We like that ping pong paddles is cheap,
Like a frisbee is cheap, like a cooler is cheap
patronizing all this theorizing we are on the
5th stage of grief cause you denying the science
Primary priorities are subject to delay
Oooo we know we need it, but how will we pay?
Money ain’t an object if the state likes your style
Money ain’t an option when the pobre stands trial
THIS WALL (TRUMP AHAB) We Don’t Wanna Kills the Whales anymore
O Captain, the crew hears rumors that the sea is hotter
It’s ironic cause we’re also running out of water
Yes, the Earth’s been thawing for millenia
Are we gonna do something or just disappear
If you don’t think this is our job geezers please stop steering
We need some science math and probly even geoengineering
(Bless, I said it) Know you’re in the hills and you watch the sky
weird to have beef with the weather guy
I keep on hitting this wall it’s all in
Why was I running so hard in the beginning
Who sent out that memo sayin “Check this, kid out.”
Paid for college slept parttime
Depressed like lennon pop like McCartney
Bob Ross on this canvas
[Beat the devil out of it.]
Happy Trees This is just between us.
Be proud of it.
Standing on the sidelines
Watching this shit go down
Now this payaso has words for it
Witness to prisoners Witness to poets
Singers and scientists Watching the show it’s so
Nice to have the right to write the rules
but does it stay fair? No, it never does.
“Trust. Keep Rowing the boat. Keep rowing.”
(In the distance “we don’t wanna kill the whales anymore, we don’t wanna kill the whales anymore, we don’t wanna kill the whales anymore yeah Captain is a basket case.
WHALE CRASHES ONTO STAGE. CHRIS COMES OUT MOUTH OF GIANT WHALE, AFTER SHAKING AROUND EFFIGY OF TRUMP BETWEEN JAWS. LIKE JONAH
Donchano Donchano donchano donchano Row sounds,
(explosion) This is how I retire from politics,
(explosion) Throw it out and see what the fish sticks
(explosion) Hit em all with that Rio Linda spit
[[Get wet California]]
CALLING OUT FOR VOLUNTEERS
California on fire
Lightning touched the kindling
Calling all fighters
Gonna be a long night again
THUNDER CRACKS. Drumroll, march ALL FIGHTERS (sample)
Let’s see those elephants walk
Class to be honestly I -I don’t know where to start
Projections say this project is falling apart
Aging, ailing ollies appreciating art
Poison in our bodies in the water, air, and food,
That could have been avoided, and must be removed.
The middle child says the house is burning
But it’s the middle child, and so they keep on arguing
Teacher wants to see some hands up for action
Did you volunteer or did your ass get drafted
A memo from the desk of the top brass
Effective immediately, 800 sharpen your ass
Coffee and tea free compliments of BPOE
Supreme order of the minstrelsy
Say goodbye to your families
So you can go overseas
Kill the Japanese for your country
Kill the Koreans for your country
Kill Vietnamese for your country
Kill Iraqis, Afghanis, Yemenis, Somalis, Libya Syria Pakistanis
Man we’re bombing so many countries I cant’ even see straight
It’s enough for most of us at least
Busy, lovely, happy, and all free huh?
Sing a song of sixpence, sex and politics
Politics is sexy, politics is theatre
Politics has make up, haircuts, scandals
SAMPLE Candles for the vigilant
You call this defense? It’s hella expensive
You want safety, I’ll give you safety
I’m sorry I forgot who I was talking to,
Let me put on my elephant trunk
The snake on my face.
Take a big rock, call that big rock Earth
Take a little rock, a little smaller than mars
Hit the big rock with the little rock
And a quarter of the big rock forms the moon
Take the same big rock
And another little rock, this time a 6 mile comet
Hit the big rock with the little rock, Congratulations
Now you killed the dinosaurs
Oh, you don’t believe in dinosaurs ok
Take the same big rock, call it Goliath
And another little rock, call it David
But let’s break it down
Falling from the heavens, 13,000 years ago
Flaming balls of fire, raining cyanide
Crashing to the surface,
Ooh man did they deserve
Phaethon’s chariot of fire
60 miles wide, a cluster bomb of platinum
And now the water is rising
Please take me to a higher place
Zoroaster saw it coming
Galilleo, and Newton,
A flaming sword that always keeps
Our Atoms east of Eden
Well if somebody told them,
We could have saved Atlantis.
We could learn
We should learn how to preserve these things
We could save America. We could save the whole world.
save the coastlines, and the people who live down by
The river, who will save them,
who will save the Progress, America?
Don’t Panic. I’ll admit that I’m a manic
We have Watchmen on the walls, hope we don’t forget to keep watching
We can put solar panels on asteroids and use lasers
To move them safely out of the way, but hey
If you want to start over with slaves,
And Crusades, and Famines, and Plagues, by all means or
We need infrared space telescopes
And kids to do the formulas
Kids who understand the calculus
That is Keeping track of all of this
So that one day, not if but when
Somebody has to save us
It could be a Californian
Teacher wants to see some hands up for action
Can I get a volunteer?
Or do I have to draft you?
Keep looking up.
Of all the lives this banner cost, America what fee
shall comfort gold star mothers but this cloth of liberty?
And though the sacred nature of remembrance gives us pause,
we never stop to elevate this flag above our flaws.
As victors, once the victims, escaped into the dawn,
we recognise those suffering and mourn our damage done.
And when this flag is finally burned, and will eventually,
Oh, then can you say, "May this fire long wave o'er the land of the brave and the free."
California constitution longer than the bible
Hell if I know what I’m doing if this shit goes viral
We do what we do to prosper,
And still we prosper
What we do we do to prosper
*And still we prosper
I saw you on Maher, adding to the patter
Rand Paul of the DNC, climbing the ladder
White enough to woo, Right enough to rule
Rich enough to win kinda tough to fool
If I break my party line I might do it for Tulsi
If Veronika takes the prime I want you to toast me
Ice cream during chiang’s speech damn that’s cold, Gav
Is there anything an oil baby can’t have? really
Swing Left of me lieutentant I double dan dare you
John Cox’s wife thinks he should be the president too
Nobody wants this job..
Oh good they want to (work for the people)
That’s nice cause most of the time (people hate people)
Who wants to preside over a divide, and seismic drop in employment
Failed legislation, a sedate and misinformed population
Daddy look at us, we finally made it
Wiser, older, richer and more dated
The institution is insulated, Do or do not debated
Fanning the flames,
A famine in funds and fanatical faith hasten our fate
Granted All good deeds demand deliberation
debating dates is great except in expiration
“It’s a human system with limited funds on a ball of rock floating in space.”
Nobody wants this job.
Nobody wants that job.
People don’t pump that Delta
Delta don’t want your judas kiss
Someone’s got to say don’t pump that delta
There’s better ways to handle this
Not just the smelt up in that Delta
The ocean water’s creeping in.
Water so salty
Humpback whale came all this way
Water so salty
One whale even brought it’s little baby
Banging pots and pans underwater
Turn them around back to the bay
Pretty soon you’ll all be drinking
Salty wine and salty nuts
The Delta Marsh is salty now
And don’t we hate your guts
I am so sorry you ran out of water
So did Dubai, and Israel and look what San Diego’s doing!
Fuck. Get some desalination going or some shit damn!
TRAFFIC Chaplin meets the Blob
It’s my meditation time, only me and these empty seats
Satellite says sorry, my map app’s drawn a long red line
I pray for no accidents, If I’m lucky I’ll make it to work by ten
I’m well-adjusted, right at home, and happy in traffic
There’re so many people, when are they going
My car eats as much as me, all of this feels so feeble
Do my kids even love me? I should just shut off the engine and push
At least I’d be walking a bit stead of sitting, and melting in traffic
Oooooo California’s population will only steadily grow
And it costs a lot of dough to keep repairing the streets and roads
Plus a single semi can cause equivalent wear to ten thousand cars
So let’s just keep throwing money at traffic until it takes everything
Bye bye, bicycle utopia, it’s only feasible
For people who like to breathe tailpipe exhaust And every so
often run over a sharp piece of car, oh public transit
You’re like the only good thing we have going,
I should look up your rates on my hands free device
When I have safely arrived at my destination
What’s with all this overaccelerating and suddenly braking my heart
There are so many so many so many cars
I’m bizarrely ok with, and.I kinda belong to the TRAFFIC
City work Sittin in a chair work
Glasses with the glare proof coating Glare anyway as
Students sit in lit in situ limbo
Subjects in a sentence charting verbs the window’s closin
Grown and owned in loans n likes and interest
Stressing every instance of distance
I do this job
I do that job
Oh hey look there’s a job over there
Jobs jobs jobs
You can’t have a job
Name 5 kinds of jobs
Sweat into my eyes like I’m Frosty
Crossing the Delaware River in August
Sledge swings my wrist and shins to splinters
Pledge the best nights it’s potatoes for dinner
I depend on presence
My freedom until it’s time
Mama please don’t make me go back to the mine
Handscuffed feet black back the track up,
Mama please don’t make me go back to the mine
Jobs are great
Work for the state!
I’m out of place pace is slow steady
Go look for more jobs
Find a new career
Now the jobs are over here
Your kid has to eat
Why can’t your kid get a job
Grand a month or on the street
I’m a stupid, lazy slob
TRYING TO SAVE MY EYES
Tech blind/Stop sign Count to thirty
I’m not looking at the light, I’m just trying to save my eyes.
I grew up staring at Jesus on his knees
in a garden asking God to grant him a pardon
Mom remember how you said singing could be my service
That I take myself to church when I’m the one whos witness’d
Please don’t give me any money If I win it’s wasted
We spend so damn much on elections nowadays it’s tasteless
83 mill spent on 8, in 08, please donate to SPLC in ‘18. I’ll wait.
What a politician takes,
a politician takes
A check to the aquarium, we’re raising for every
Zoo, museum, shelter, School Band, you can afford
Write a check to the girl scouts, you can’t afford not to
Girl Scouts, please sell your cookies on election day
People would pay they might even wait
Animal Welfare Institute could use a dime
Memo: the GuBER campaign on the for line
You can’t pay for clarity
I am not your charity.
I’m not looking at the light I’m just trying to save my eyes
It’s a cyber affair somedays 8 hours looks like me not blinking
reading everything I can to keep from thinking
What do I give of greater substance than any other, there are
days I am at work with heart and there are many others
I want to give my time to real needs Real things
Reality’s the kingdom In my kingdom, in my kingdom
People need a grand a month but we dont even feed em
I’m not looking at the light, I’m just trying to save my eyes
Hurts to know what we need so many bleed
cause my breed eats, beats, shoots the sower and leaves and this
parts for Taliesin’s sister she plays the harp
It hurts to know what we need
I want to write a love song but Klansmen keep killing my friends.
And you are giving them support for harming peaceful innocents.
All doubts removed your rhetoric triggers psychopaths
We are on opposite ends of the spectrum
At least we’re on it.
Our war is with the uninformed
Not the uniformed. How do we protect each other?
You must associate, engage, think critically and vote constantly
A democracy underinflated by poll workers and voters abandoned
Is no different from a controlled corrupt system.
We, a people written off in an environment of technology and learning
Created to entertain and sustain us.
With a need to believe in the order of the orderly.
Reluctantly find crisis where we wanted seniority.
We are disaffected, in luxurious cement we sit and see
Taxes levied that level foreign topography
Rent rates and policies raised against poverty
We want to taste clean energy, and who says she that
cleaned the water can’t raise a daughter to challenge me
When I am out of touch and should not lead
Empty plastic bottles moving up the freeway
To be filled with milk and back down to feed the
Models of business today need direction
Diesel Rigs rip ditches in the streets for cheap cosmetics
Healthcare prescribes Insulin, milk and meats for diabetics
While secret police sic beats for your protection
If anybody wonders what makes young angry
Believing all to be a little crazy, stay sane in the face of
Charging up the tribalism killing kids within the system
Talk like soundbytes we don’t listen
Cannot live our moral lessons
Shrug off victims in a violent state
Jaded in faded blues the person we’re afraid of
Is on the news again, hero played by hooligan
Night polluted by lights can’t see the twinkling
And nobody wants this job anymore
Nobody wants this job
Nobody wants that job
Everything you worked for is gonna die with you
We trade places and you take your pensions
Fashion signs out of white picket fences
And keep a knee on the ground
Funny how after being
Sold out by a small group running their mouths
About how we just can’t face the now
We found life without money.
Rounding the sun against stasis, glacius minimus
The galaxy moves so much faster than you but dudes!
Thank you for all that you did do.
BEAR IN MIND
Humanity, please watch my house for me
You’ll get a lifetime of money, friends and a body for free.
You can eat almost anything, but some of it’s poison
That’s why you’re getting a memory
To Keep track of everything
You can sing
If you’re ever in trouble
I’ll give you more people
They’ll ask lots of questions
And find out the answers
When they get back to you
Take what they say at face value
They have proofs.
So you think that I gave you a planet
Just so you could use it? I did, but
Take care of it, kids because that being said
Please respect the planet
Like I’m paying you to house sit.
You are fully prepared for this moment
Whatever you want to call forth from within yourself is inside you.
You are a container and conduit for the past and present.
Maybe you are even grander than your greatest goal
fully fleshed out fantasy.
What the poor spend feeds directly into the local and state economy. They spend everything.
The Story of guber
It came in on the wind. A song here, a puppet there, and the framework of a musical production. A little healthy spectacle to inject joy and natural awe into a political game that all people play to some extent. Whether it's a gas tax, or rail, or regulations, the whole state is gambling to find a proper scapegoat for the next big inconvenience.
If you ever find the CA state quarter, or visit Yosemite, surely you will be aware of a sauntering writer named John Muir. This show began as a few stories of his, and grew and grew. Sometime in Chicago, 2014, the Second City treatment involved a pastor teaching his Sunday lessons from the writings of Whitman, Muir, and Teddy Roosevelt.
In 2015, the stage grew. No longer was this a story of one man's life, as it now imagined a world where John Muir had, before his passing, decided to run for the governorship of California. About 6 months of political applications and paperwork have been completed. Now the curtain flies on a new work. Hopefully the presence of Guber's message will be a step in the reformation of our OWN minds and ideals.
Bless (I said it.)